Stormy - I mean Smoky - Earl Grey Tea Cupcakes

I made these cupcakes in such a temper that Julia Child definitely would not have approved. Hummingbird would definitely have not approved. Even a three-year-old would not have approved.

It's so difficult seeing others reap what they have sowed, rightfully, others achieving what I so ever wanted, with me still stuck in the gutter, failing to look at the stars. Do I even believe in what is coming out of my mouth. Do I even trust in my dreams anymore. Do I even dare to dream.

I was so frustrated I couldn't sit still. I had to, had to do something with myself. Work off the confusion, the frustration. And not for the first time, I pulled out the flour, sugar, raided the fridge for leftover unsalted butter from Father's Day and Lemon Meringue Cupcakes combined, and took out the pot of Smoky Earl Grey Loose Tea that I got Mum at Fortnum and Mason.

There's a musky scent to Smoky Earl Grey, reminded me of a barbecue, and there's a slightly bitter after taste to it. I like it though. It's almost as if you can smell the burnt scent even though it's the taste that is 'smoky'. The wonders of our five senses. Sometimes it gets blurred and I get confused.

Look at my mess. Flour everywhere. It always happens, so I always measure out a bit more than needed. Yet I can't deny how I love the way flour puffs up like a cloud. Up until it gets in your nose and then I regret.

And then I bit into one. The bitterness in my mouth matched the bitterness in my heart, I know I have more to be thankful for than to be bitter about but the bitter aftertaste cannot be ignored. The sponge was soft as I liked it, with slightly crusty bits because I had been so distracted I let the top brown more than it should. It was like drinking earl grey but with milk and sugar, not a way I normally like taking my tea (I prefer it black). My parents each had one too, they prefer cupcakes without the icing. And I bit into a tea leaf and reminded myself that there are things which are more bitter in life than I normally have to take it to be.

You don't have to promise me the moon and the stars...just promise that you'll stand under them with me.

Made with Love, Lemon Meringue Cupcakes

JH's girlfriend is interning in Guangzhou, and JH, over lunch, was pondering what to get her as a present when he went up to see her over the weekend.

JH: "I actually really want to make her something. Bake something. A cake. Cookies. I dunno," said JH. "Tiramisu? It means 'pick me up' literally...but it's what wives used to make for their husbands went off to the war..." I said.
"I don't think it'd survive the three hour train journey it's too hot in China," he said.
...

"You could look through my Hummingbird Cake Days recipe book and see what there is? There's a cupcake version of a tiramisu maybe that would last longer," I offered.

So that's what we did, and as we were deliberating betweenTiramisu Cupcakes and Lemon Meringue Cupcakes, my phone buzzed.

D: "I'm walking past by your house!"
"Come in! I'm there! Do you want to make cupcakes for your girlfriend too?" JH had already called him the minute I showed him the text.

And that's how I ended up giving two love-struck boys a cookery lesson, Lemon Meringue Cupcakes 101.

Trust guys with grocery shopping. They forgot baking powder. So we had to trek out in the rain to get baking powder since I'd run out at home. Oh well I guess turning up at mine at 11 in the morning with all ingredients except the baking powder was enough of an achievement for them.

Work of the boys, and they kept bickering over who had spilt the most batter. Children nowadays...watching them slowly spoon the batter into each muffin tin was a teeny bit painful. I know I could have done that in half the time they did, yet at the same time it was so sweet to see the look of concentration on their face as they tried not to drip anything over the table or the edge of the muffin tin. Their girlfriends are so lucky to have them.

I tell them one tablespoon of baking powder, they put a heaped tablespoon instead of a level tablespoon (I guess to them it did not really make a difference) and cupcake batter kind of exploded out forming 'growths' onto these cupcakes...

Meet Ellie the Elephant. I found it really amusing that a cupcake would turn out with a trunk and proceeded to give her ears. Some people were less impressed. But I liked her.

JH even found cupcake boxes. They do look good enough to sell, and credits to the boys because all I did was just to instruct them what to do, plus boil the sugar to reach the soft boil stage when making the meringue. Oh and putting them into the mini-oven we have at home.

I later had tea with mum, one Lemon Meringue Cupcake each, with Fortnum and Mason Smoky Earl Grey. She loved it.

I'd never have thought Lemon Meringue Cupcakes would bring about so much love.